What do I do on my day off? Well, since I live at 1927 House, my day off is spent working on something. If you visit me, you'll get an hour of being fussed over, the dog will kiss you as long as you'll tolerate it, and there will be tea in the good china at the dining room table...but if you stay longer than that, the dog will go back to sleep and you'll be put to work. You can start anywhere, and do anything you like; this place is a handyman's dream. Like to drywall or plaster? How do you feel about tile? Come by next week and I'll have plumbing for the Inner Plumber in you. I promise, the sound of a sawzall does not disturb the dog at all, so have at it!
After ridding ourselves of the Great Striped Wasp Migration of 2010, (highly recommend the Rigid contractor's vac) we went to Homely Despot and loaded the van with materials to finish our countertops. We're covering them in Weathered Stone ("The World's First Bendable Stone" www.weathered-stone.com.) The malleable plaster and vinyl "stone" is perfect for jobs like ours because I can wrap a bullnose counter edge and I don't have to spend a month cutting tile to fit. We'll grout, coat the whole thing with clear epoxy floor finish, and it's a wrap. My husband, Mr. Geometry, is laying the product out on-point. Weathered Stone is made in Fairhope AL, and is the brainchild of Sean Howard, a former paperhanger who is a friend of ours. We like to give him a plug when we can.
As I'm standing at the wall taping drywall joints, I am thinking of my favorite squirrelly patients. Hospitals spin off their own sort of humor, the best of which is the recent "There is a fracture" cartoon. Patients tell me all sorts of things, mostly because I haven't yet learned to flee when they start to speak. A 90-yr-old struggled to speak after a long convalescence; I wondered about his LOC and orientation when he said tenuously, "I know the man who invented the hospital gown..." I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. "His name was Seymour Butts." I blinked; then laughed. He got me on that one! One could also never forget the garrulous patient with lower leg cellulitis who nevertheless stumped out to the station to ask, "What is it that the more you take away from it, the bigger it gets?" Hmmm. You got me there, pal; what is it? "A hole. Gotcha!" he chortled with glee. So glad I could make his day.
After the patient humor, I just couldn't let a good giggle opportunity pass, so I went to the internet.
Q: How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twelve: One to do it. One to chart it. Ten to write the policy and procedure. http://www.jokes.com/funny/health/doctors--nurses--lightbulbs
Vintage Nurse out.